just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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