dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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