That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
