I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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