:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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