i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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