i just wanna soil my oats bro
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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