pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
