yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
