8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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