Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
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I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
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Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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