I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Im just a social blackout drinker.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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