whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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