i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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