I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
