Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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