This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
