There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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