So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
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conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
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Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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