JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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