Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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