Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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