I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
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Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
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Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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