I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
He uses pillows to masturbate.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
