you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
