Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
