i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
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I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
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by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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