how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.