it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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