You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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