Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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