Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
