dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
