why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
