If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
