I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize