maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
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He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
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I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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