Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize