Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
