My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
