my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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