Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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