Just mADE A PArabola og urine
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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