dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
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