is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
