I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.