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• (631): View more from New York

  If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org

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• (801): View more from Utah

  He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..

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• (607): View more from New York

  I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.

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• (646): View more from New York

  He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...

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  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?

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• (408): View more from California

  Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.

  (905): View more from Ontario

  It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.

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• (714): View more from California

  So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.

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