I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city