Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.

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  (330): cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank. http://tfl.nu/47xc
  Replies (8) Good night (1803) Bad night (587)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.

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  (703): He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet. http://tfl.nu/muj7
  Replies (28) Good night (699) Bad night (6166)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.

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  (240): I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way. http://tfl.nu/5yxg
  Replies (26) Good night (4172) Bad night (1571)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie

  (420): View more from

  your the best winggirl ever

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  (610): Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie (420): your the best winggirl ever http://tfl.nu/bhih
  Replies (34) Good night (13209) Bad night (1063)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.

  (478): View more from Georgia

  Moment of silence for the loss of that option.

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  (843): I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues. (478): Moment of silence for the loss of that option. http://tfl.nu/jcvy
  Replies (29) Good night (2020) Bad night (7230)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance

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  (207): i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance http://tfl.nu/4kjn
  Replies (3) Good night (3633) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas

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  (815): Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas http://tfl.nu/uer1
  Replies (2) Good night (2692) Bad night (763)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time

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  (410): ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised? (860): Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time http://tfl.nu/9nef
  Replies (2) Good night (2268) Bad night (673)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Already at 3 and it's not even noon.

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  (616): I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today. (616): Already at 3 and it's not even noon. http://tfl.nu/7ttt
  Replies (6) Good night (1402) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm a pro at the other 9-5

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  (814): You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you. (215): I'm a pro at the other 9-5 http://tfl.nu/i1o5
  Replies (2) Good night (1183) Bad night (413)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.

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  (201): Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin. http://tfl.nu/tejt
  Replies (2) Good night (1181) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  we need a secret handshake

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  (616): time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night? (1-616): we need a secret handshake http://tfl.nu/i0zy
  Replies (7) Good night (1485) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!

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  (608): Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know! http://tfl.nu/hgdr
  Replies (2) Good night (299) Bad night (778)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?

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  (802): When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean? http://tfl.nu/44u3
  Replies (4) Good night (1167) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (+66): View more from Thailand

  How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?

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  (+66): How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai? http://tfl.nu/z73d
  Replies (2) Good night (461) Bad night (214)

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