So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
