What a fucking waste of an outfit
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
