all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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