i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
