My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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