so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Randomize
