I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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