Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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