Don't you send me to vm
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
