Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
