fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
