Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
