scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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